My daughter is dating a nigga

So often mothers like myself urge our daughters to be entirely honest with us about every aspect of their lives, without ever actually thinking through how painful this open dialogue might actually turn out to be.We’re right to do it – to insist that we’ve seen and heard it all before, therefore they can trust us with as much of their teenage angst as they dare.The uncomfortable truth is that porn is not only easily accessible to any child with access to wifi – deliberately or accidentally stumbled across; unless you step in early on to explain otherwise, it’s also increasingly becoming the thing that first teaches them about sex.New statistics released by the NSPCC’s Child Line service today make troubling reading for any parent.Childline’s founder, Dame Esther Rantzen, spoke after the release of these alarming figures saying that children as young as 11 had contacted the service with concerns about pornography.

I’m pretending to be the mum that not only my daughter, but her friends too if need be, feel they can confide in.

''We absolutely have to talk to young people about sex, love, respect and consent as soon as we feel they are ready, to ensure that they gain a proper perspective between real life relationships and the fantasy world of porn.'' I couldn’t have put it better myself.

And I have been having those very conversations with my daughter, now 17, for years, because the stakes have become so high it would be foolish not to. In fact, truthfully, I'm faking that I’m OK with hearing about the first time she was asked to give a boy a blowjob.

So, when she lost her virginity it shouldn’t really have come as any great surprise that she would want to share the news with me. And while, of course, I didn’t love her one jot less for the revelation, and was glad she felt she could trust me enough to tell me, her words shocked me so much that my first instinct was to want to break something over her precious head.

Because, no matter that I lost my own virginity at a similar age; and no matter that she’d been with her boyfriend long enough to know her own mind and not be pressured into doing something she didn’t feel comfortable with, this was my little girl.

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